Wife
by Dragoandnikki
Summary: Mikey does something drastic. Raphael thinks they're all out of their minds. And Donny is just trying to keep his head straight. Leo waits patiently for things to change, and master splinter doesn't show up much. TMNT x oc all four. It is NOT turtle-cest, the beginning has a little family fluff though.
1. Chapter 1

Wife

Donny is sick, it's all my fault too. I look up as Master Splinter walks in and look away, sitting in the corner and hoping he's come to punish me and say Donny will be fine. "Donatello is resting. You should never have taken him out into the snow without any clothing."  
"I ' m sorry Sensei. " I blink at the wall blankly and sigh. " I didn ' t know Donny could get sick so easy. "  
"You are by far the strongest of your brothers Raphael, but you must remember their weaknesses, or you will never be able to lead. I know that is your dream. To lead your brothers one day. "  
"Hai Sensei. "  
"You must know your brothers strengths and weaknesses intimately to be able to lead them. Leonardo is already on his way to learning such things, as is Donatello. I know you would not wish to lose to one of them. "  
"No Sensei. "  
"I will not punish you. " I blink and turn to see him standing beside me now. He holds out his hand. " I will teach you instead. "  
"Hai Master. " I take his hand and he helps me to my feet, as small as I may be, I am strong for my age and I know I should remember my brothers are weaker than I am.

I was watching TV with my family about a week later when I saw the commercial that started all this. It was a man and woman sitting together on a picnic blanket, and they kissed. I had no idea what it was or what it was for. "Master, what are they doing?"  
"Who, my son ?"  
"The people on TV. They ' re touching faces. "  
"Ah. That is called a Kiss. It symbolizes love and compassion and above all, affection. "  
"Why haven ' t we ever done that ?" He chuckles, All three of my brothers look up for the explanation.  
"It can be done within families, but not like that. You may kiss whomever you like on their face or perhaps their forehead … it is a good way to become close. " We all blink at him and Mikey jumps on me, kissing my face with a big smooching sound. I push him off me and wipe my face.  
"That was gross Mikey. " He grinned and laughed.  
"I like it !" I sigh and Donny crawls over to my side.  
"What did it feel like ?" I make a face,  
"Like Mikey was trying to suck my face up into his mouth. "  
"Oh. " He seemed to think hard about that. I just leaned over and touched my lips to his cheek. It was a nothing kiss, it was just the smallest thing. But he blushed, and I felt the heat of his skin on my lips, and I was transfixed. I pulled back and looked at him, his cheeks were flushed dark green and his eyes were elsewhere.  
"What ' s the matter, Donny ?"  
"Nothing Raph. I just wasn ' t expecting it. "  
"Ex … epecta … what ?"  
"It means I wasn ' t ready for it. " He was always using big words we didn ' t understand.  
"You read too much. " I push him so he falls over,  
"You don ' t read enough. " He kicks me and I fly backwards onto my shell. I panic, like I always do when I ' m on my back and thrash my arms and legs, flopping uselessly on the floor until Donny grabs my hand and pulls me up. Leo walks over and hugs Donny and I, kissing us each on the cheek. Donny blushes again and I can feel my face getting hot too. It felt weird to get kissed. We all smiled at each other and Mikey popped up between us, wrapping his arms around me and Donny.  
"Don't leave me out, kiss me too!" Leo laughed and kissed Mikey's forehead. Mikey grinned. "We'll be together forever!"

Ever since then I ' ve been so confused about why every time I saw a girl on TV I wanted to know what her skin felt like under my lips. I couldn ' t do anything about it so I took it out on the forever annoying Mikey. Not to say I don ' t love him. In fact I ' d say Mikey was my favorite little brother. Then a girl on TV would smile with pearly whites and blue eyes and I would feel my face get hot all over again. No one ever noticed when I blushed cause I had the darkest skin of all of us and it didn ' t show. I realized after a while that none of them felt this way, and I wanted to ask master Splinter about it, but … I felt like if I did, it would be wrong. So I just trained and tried to forget about it, when Donny and Leo were around, I ignored them, then one day my little brother came to me, " Raph, did I make you mad ?" His big eyes were full of tears and his little mouth was trembling with sadness. I looked at him as he spoke and just thought … "I mean … you … haven ' t you been ignoring me ? I mean I keep trying to play with you and you keep walking away when I come near you. " I felt my eyes soften even as my mouth opened,  
"I ' m not here just for you Donny, I gotta play by myself sometimes too. "  
"Oh …" His tears spilled over and I rolled my eyes at him.  
"What did you want to play ?" I gave up. I couldn ' t forget these weird feelings so I guess it was better just to hide them. He smiled up at me as I wiped away the tears he ' d cried.  
"You ' ll really play with me ?" I nod and kiss his nose. He blushes and looks at his feet. " Let ' s play house ! You can be the daddy and me and Mikey will be the babies. Leo can be mommy !" He took off running and I followed him. I can ' t believe I would play house for my little brother ' s happiness but I can believe I ' d do most anything else. I wanted to protect his smile forever.

It was a few years later that I ' d learned that what I felt really was wrong. It was when we were all watching TV together. We were twelve. " Fag !" We all gasped at the bad word and Splinter turned the channel.  
"Master, what does that word mean ?"  
"You needn ' t know Michelangelo. "  
"But Master, what makes it a bad word ?" he sighs.  
"It refers to a boy, who is in love with another boy. " They all blinked,  
"Why is that bad ?" I asked with a dropping heart.  
"Many people dislike men who love other men simply because it's… well many say it is wrong. For different reasons."  
"Is it wrong ?" I look up at him and wait with held breath as he considers it.  
"I would not know my son. I am not bound by human standards. I would say it is not right. But merely because that is not how a family is created. " I let my head drop and looked off to the side where Donny was paying diligent attention.  
"How is a family created then ?" I ask.  
"There must be a mother for there to be a family. In our family it is different, because we were not born. We were made. But for any other family they are born of a mother. "  
"So it ' s okay to love girls, but not boys ?"  
"If you are a boy then yes. " I turn my head.  
"What about us ?"  
"It is alright to love Family Raphael. " I nodded relieved, It wasn't wrong after all then.  
"I understand Master." I didn't really but hey, I was young.

"That's four to zip Mikey, you're unfocused more than usual today." I've been noticing that Mike has a thing for staying up all night watching TV and listening to music, not to mention doing tricks on his skateboard. But lately he's been a little off, and by off I don't mean he's not doing it anymore… no I mean he seems sick. He hasn't been eating any of our food lately, he's been sleeping less and less and I notice that he looks grayer than usual. His skin is grey-green but it's not supposed to be THAT grey is it? Tomorrow we all turn fifteen and I can't wait for Splinter to give us our new weapons. He was making them himself somewhere far away with all different kinds of materials. He was also going to give us something else, but he hadn't said what it would be.  
"Ra-aa-aph!" Mikey whined as he stood up, "You gave me a bruise!" He held up his arm and I sighed.  
"You ' re such a baby Mikey. "  
"Kiss it !" He was grinning now and I smacked him upside the head.  
"I don ' t do that anymore, Mikey. "  
"But-but … you used to always kiss it better for me !" He jumped back as I chopped right where his head used to be. I laid eyes on his eyes and that was it, I was going to land that hit or I was gonna die trying. I ran after him as he ran away and started yelling for Leonardo. " Raph ' s tryin ' to kill me !" Leonardo stepped out of nowhere and stopped Mikey with an arm around his neck, mashing his fist into his little head. " OW !" I stopped chasing and was satisfied with a smirk.  
"My sons, I am home. " We all ran into the front area and sat down in a line of four as we waited for our Master to command us. We did this a lot nowadays, like we were little soldiers or something.

"My sons, I have come to a decision." We all look up and wait for him to elaborate. That's a word I learned from Donny. "Tonight, we go up to the surface." I grin and my brothers start whooping and high-fiving. Mikey wraps his arms around my neck and smooches the top of my head. I elbow him in the plastron and he goes down gasping. I musta hit him harder than I thought. I lean over him.  
"You okay Mikey ?"  
"I ' d be better if you ' d kiss it !"  
"Mikey !" I punch for his stomach and he rolls to avoid it, unlucky for him, he rolls straight into me. I pounce on him and we go rolling with my fists grinding in his arms and legs at different angles.  
"I'm sorry Raph! Quit it!" He whined. I let him go and walk over to Master Splinter and the other two. I'm suddenly tackled from behind and kissed on the head again. "Ha!" He yells and runs over to hide behind Master. I get up with a growl and stalk over in a foul mood.  
"Master, where are we going up there ?" He turns to me and smiles,  
"We are going to get food. Good food. We have only ever eaten moss and leeches and worms … but today, we eat what the humans eat. "  
"Is that much better than what we eat, Master ?" Mikey asks.  
"I don ' t know if you will like it, being animals, but perhaps. "  
"Let ' s go !" I yell as I run for the door. They follow behind me with similar expressions of happiness and Master brings up the rear.

We all stop at the manhole cover Splinter told us to go to. We climb up and out, ending up behind a restaurant with splinter pulling up a sack and telling us to put on the outfits inside. We put on the masks and coats and pants and shoes and then he ' s ushering us into the restaurant with his own mask and shoes on. He wears gloves and tells us to keep our hands in our pockets.

"Reservation or walk-in?" Master replies,  
"Reservation. It ' s under Yoshi. "  
"Ah, yes, come with me. " He leads all of us into the back, to the darkest corner and we all sit down in the booth. I ' m sitting in between Donny and Leo, again I have to hide my face or they ' ll see how embarrassed I am. Donny reaches across my shoulders to tap Leo and I hear him whisper across to him,  
"What ' s wrong with Mikey ?" I look up and true to his words, Mikey is quiet and contemplative … not like himself at all.

"My son, what troubles you?" We're sitting quietly, waiting for the food to come and Mikey answers,  
"I think I just realized something that makes me really sad. "  
"You think you realized what ?" Leo leans forward and he says,  
"We ' ll never have wives. " We all blush bright green and Donny squeaks,  
"Mikey !"  
"Well we won ' t !" We all look at each other and realize he ' s probably right.  
"Unless we got a girl who didn't know there was someone other than us for her. So we'd have to be the last things on earth." Donny says.  
"Come on you guys, we don ' t need …" But then I think about it. If we all had a wife, just one for all of us, we could probably … I get lost in my thoughts as they go on talking about it all around me.

"Whoo!" Mikey yells as he chomps on a piece of pizza that he ordered. We all tasted our food and found it all to be… heaven. I chewed my sashimi slowly and moaned as I swallowed.  
"Damn that ' s good. "  
"Raphael, watch your language. "  
"Sorry Master. "

It was another year before Mikey had an idea and wouldn ' t tell any of us what it was. I guess I should have started here, but if I hadn ' t started early on you wouldn ' t have known how we came to be in this situation or how Mikey got the idea.

"Hey Don ? Can you make something that would make somebody forget everything ?" We all looked at him, because it was bizarre for Mikey to ask for something that wasn ' t obviously fun in some way.  
"What do you mean, Mikey? Like a distraction?"  
"No. Um … how … to … like amnesia ! But forever ?"  
"Why would I make something like that ?"  
"Just tell me if you could. "  
"Probably, it would be child ' s play if I had some of their DNA but- "  
"I ' ll get some then, then you can make it and we ' ll see if it works. "  
"Mikey who are you planning- " He ' d already left. " I really hope he doesn ' t expect me to make somebody forget everything about themselves without figuring out an antidote first. "  
"You ' re gonna do it then ?" Leo asks with a raised eyebrow.  
"Why not ? It ' ll be a new challenge. I said it ' d be child ' s play with a DNA sample but it ' ll still take me days to do it. "  
"Something to keep your attention, huh ?" I start punching the bag again and he nods in my direction, I can see it in the corner of my eye.  
"There are so few things that I get to do that are so scientific. "  
"You mean sci-FI-entific. " He grins,  
"That too. " I huffed and went back to my punches, later exchanging that exercise with a few weight sets.

Mikey came back with hair and Donny didn ' t ask where he ' d gotten it, he just started working on it. Mikey told him not to bother with an antidote right now, he could figure one out later, there would be plenty of time for that … I looked at him just as suspiciously as the others and we all kept an eye on him for a few days while Don worked on the formula.

Funny how, once it was done, Mikey was fine with leaving it alone when Don said he wanted to make an antidote first. Then one day it was suddenly missing, and him along with it, and we all had to run to track him before he could do something stupid. We were too late.

"Mikey, what have you done!?"  
"She ' s just a girl who lives on the streets, no one will miss her. So can ' t we keep her ? She ' ll live better with us than alone !" We all stared at him and the little scrap of a girl that was in his arms. She wore baggy, torn-up clothes with her flat as a board chest and her straight as a rod white hair.  
"Mikey, no offense and all but if you were wantin ' a pet and you wanted to make it a human pet … why would you pick, THAT ?" I point at her.  
"She ' s got the prettiest eyes, really I mean it ! Open them up and look !" We all looked at each other and sighed,  
"Mikey we can ' t just take a girl from the surface … someone WILL eventually miss her, and she ' ll probably run away and tell people about us. "  
"Not if we can get her to like us first ! I think it ' s a great idea to keep her, she can do the shopping for us and … well … be like any wife. "  
"What !?" We all yell. She groans and stirs in his arms, her face paling and her lips parting so she can whimper.  
"Shhh ! You ' ll wake her up !" He runs for a manhole cover and kicks it out of the way so he can jump down with her and we follow after him.

We stay quiet until we reach the lair, then I speak up. " Are we all lettin' Mikey have his way here ? Or are we just thinking of ways to get him to smarten up about it ?"  
"Mikey is right about one thing. She could be our link to the surface, since he ' s erased her memories with my serum, she has no idea that she doesn ' t belong down here … she probably wouldn ' t have wanted to remember that life anyway if given the choice. " I couldn ' t believe what was coming out of Donatello ' s mouth.  
"So what? We're kidnapping now?"  
"I agree with Don, but Raph has a point. We can ' t bring her here against her will ; she has to choose to stay. "  
"You ' re gonna go along with this too ?" I just didn ' t get it. What was it that appealed to them about her ? I like girls as much as the next guy but she wasn ' t even that pretty, or curvy … so what about her made them act like this ?  
"Master Splinter !" Leo exclaimed as we came into the lair behind Mikey and saw them both watching her sleep on the old sofa.  
"My sons, you have done something truly remarkable and yet detestable in ways I dare not explain. Michelangelo, why did you do this ?"  
"She ' s gonna be our wife !" He was so excited he was bouncing. " I know she ' ll want to be once she gets to know us a little. I like her, I know you guys will too. "  
"No offense to your taste Mike, but she ' s not exactly a symbol of beauty. " He frowned at me,  
"You haven ' t seen her eyes yet ! And besides … She ' s pretty enough for me. " He looked down at her with a look akin to worship.  
"God …" I smack my forehead and shake my head. " How are we gonna keep her from runnin ' off when she gets a look at us ?"  
"She ' s got amnesia Raph, she won ' t know who she is, that ' ll freak her out more than anything, she ' ll just think we ' re hallucinations or something for the first couple days. " Donny made sense but …  
"Master Splinter, tell me we ' re taking her back up !" He sighed,  
"I have always wanted to give you all the lives you were denied on the surface … if this girl can learn to love any of you, it would … make me happy for you. "  
"No sensei ! Not you !" I groan and rub the top of my head as I search my brain over for a way to talk them all out of this. She groans and Mikey kneels next to her, shaking her shoulder.  
"Wake up, it ' s just a dream. " She opened her eyes and blinked at him. Then came the bloodcurdling shriek.

"Where am I?" She screamed as Mikey reached for her and backed up on top of the couch then fell over on the floor. Don caught her head before it hit the ground but she just lurched away from him and cowered in a corner. Mikey walked over and held out his hand.  
"It's okay… we won't hurt you. I promise, it's the last thing we want!" She was shivering.  
"It ' s a giant, talking turtle … with blue eyes and an orange bandana …" She stopped shaking, " I ' m dreaming right ?" Mikey grimaced,  
"Uh … no. "  
"I didn ' t think so. " Then she blinked some more and stared at Mikey. He squatted very still and let her examine every inch of him with her eyes. " You … you ' re pretty buff for a turtle. " He grinned,  
"I ' m a ninja !" She blinked again.  
"Ninja … Turtle … Oh man did I lose my mind ? That would explain why I don ' t know who I am. "  
"Actually that ' s our fault- " Don starts to talk and Mikey cuts him off,  
"You were living on the streets, so I thought we could take you in and take care of you, and in return, you ' d do us some favors … shopping, cleaning up, be our wife. " He grinned at her as she widened her eyes.  
"You … I … wife !?"  
"Yeah … I mean …" He looked sheepish all of a sudden. " You don ' t have to say it, I know we don ' t look like much, but … we ' re good people I promise ! We ' ll do anything to make you happy ! I ' ll do anything to make you happy …" He reached out and when she flinched at his hand, he pulled it back. I could see the tears in his eyes coming out. This stupid girl was going to break Mikey ' s heart.  
"I… guess… since I was living on the streets, I must not have had anything good to go back to." Mikey nodded sadly,  
"I asked why you were living under the bridge and they just told me that your family was dead. "  
"Oh. So I have no place to go. Well …" He was staring at the ground. " I guess I could stay for a while …" He looked up with hope in his eyes and I hated her for dragging this out. " Just a little while. "  
"Great ! Wanna play a game with me ?" She blinked, surprised.  
"You just wanna play a game ?"  
"Yeah ! Come on !" Mikey grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the set of TV ' s in front of the couch, turning them on and picking up a controller then handing her the other one. " It ' s a game where you get to slay zombies and vampires … Do you like shooting games ?"  
"Dunno. I guess we ' ll see. "

In fact it took her an hour to learn how to aim and even longer to keep from dying every two seconds. I don ' t know why we all stayed and watched her play and get better, but I could see my brothers were staring at her, not the game. I just didn ' t get it. What was it that made her so appealing ? So I walked up to her and kneeled next to her, opposite side from Mikey and stared across at her eyes. She turned her head to look at me and I was caught up in her gaze. It was a heavy gaze, one that had seen many things and even if she didn ' t remember seeing them, her eyes remembered. They weren ' t particularly pretty or ugly ; they were just plain yellowish brown without any distinction between colors. They blended so well. She blushed and I realized I was staring straight at her face from a few inches away and I hadn ' t moved for around a minute.  
"I don't get it." I say. She flushes darker and leans away from me.  
"Don ' t get what ?" I shake my head and stand up, walking over to pat Mikey on the shoulder and make my way to my room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I groan in my sleep and wake to the scent of something warm and… dirty. I sit up on the couch and look towards the kitchen where Mikey is tinkering with an old microwave and waiting for it to ding. I walk in behind him, staring at his shell, still a little mystified that he exists. Someone brushes past me and I jump slightly as I turn to see that it's the purple masked one walking in to the fridge. He throws me a smile over his shoulder and I simply stare as he picks up a glass of milk and walks back past me, into a small area that seemed to be all his. It was outside the main room and had an old subway car that he clambered on up in. I turned around and squeaked, jumping back. Mikey was standing behind me. He jumped too and his food went kersplat on the floor. I felt so bad when all he did was stare at it and his lip started to tremble. "I… I'll go get some groceries and… and we can eat something better than that." He looked up, his lips parting in a smile.  
"Will you really make me something ?" He seemed excited at the prospect of me cooking for him. I realize he never had a mother most likely since he ' d told me before that they were made and not born … well technically they were born … but not until later did they become who they really were. I guess since he didn ' t have a mother, he wanted a wife to act like one. I can ' t believe he just decided to pick me up one day and make me his wife. And he wanted me to be all their wives. God why me ? I couldn ' t remember my life before Mikey picked me up and now I was probably going to end up married to these boys for the rest of my life … I walked over to the big rat they ' d introduced me to and asked him,  
"I need to get some food but to do that, I need money. How do I get a job ? I don ' t know who I am. "  
"There is no need for that. I make enough money to support us all. "  
"How do you do that ? "  
"Donatello showed me how to use a computer and complete surveys. I pick up my check every week at a P.O. box. "  
"Wh … okay …" He pulled a few bills out of his pocket. He winks at me.  
"There ' s an extra ten in there for you to get something for yourself. " I blink at him and smile a small bit.  
"Thank you … Splinter. " I turn and walk back to the entrance, walking until I found a manhole and climbing up.

It took a while to walk around and find a place near enough the manhole that I could remember which one it was that I came out of. I walk into the convenience store and pick out a bunch of jerky and some milk and cookies. Then I realized I would have all ten dollars left, and I wanted something from the freezer. I pick up the little bottle and walk up to the register. He rings me up, I pay, and I leave. I get down the sewer a little ways before I open up the small bottle. I take a drink of the liquid inside and I sigh in contentment. It was rich and filled with sugar and chocolate … I believe it was called a Yoohoo, from the name printed on the side. I loved it and I walked all the way back, drinking small sips and coming upon all three of them sitting at the table. " Mikey says you got us some food. " I blink and nod, pulling out some jerky and the cookies and milk.  
"I didn ' t know where the grocery store was so this was all I got. " Mikey grabbed some jerky and opened the package, chomping on the little brown pieces and humming in delight.  
"I like it !"

I sat on the couch most of the time during that day. The boys were around, training in ninjitsu, reading, tinkering, playing, punching a punching bag … I watch as Raphael starts to really wail on the bag. His muscles are bigger than everyone else ' s and I wondered why as he picked up a weight and I watched them Stretch, flex, bulge. Stretch, flex, bulge … I watched for a while, a little hypnotized by the rhythmic, smooth motion. " Ya gonna stare at me all day ?" I jump slightly and flush deeply, turning around,  
"I-I ' m sorry. "  
"No offense kid, I know I ' m probably interestin ' and all, but could you just not … come near me ? I don ' t wanna get caught up in this harebrained scheme. " I nod feverishly and get up to walk over to the sparring room, deciding I could entertain myself by talking to Leo while he trains with his katas.

I sit and watch him for a while, the fluidity of his movements lulling me into sleep as I lay down on a mat and drift. Eventually my eyes are closed enough to look closed but open enough to see blurry shapes. Someone walks in, a patch of fuzzy green, so it's one of his brothers. I know from the skater boy way he talks, that it's Mikey. "She's asleep again?"  
"She ' s not very healthy Mikey, it ' ll take a while before she gets up and around like we do. "  
"Maybe we should teach her a few things, to you know … get her into shape. "  
"Master Splinter might approve if we didn ' t teach her anything dangerous. " Leo huffs, " Then again he might not like that we ' re teaching her anything that could make her think she could do more. She ' d end up hurting herself or somebody else if she were the type. "  
"You mean Raph ' s type ?" They both chuckle and I feel my lips tip up. Looking at them as green smudges and listening to their human voices … I liked them a lot more. " So, can we ask Master if we can teach her a few exercises ?"  
"Sure, I ' ll ask him when his soaps are over. "  
"Thanks Leo. And thanks for not making me take her back. "  
"She ' s safer here than on the streets, I couldn ' t begrudge her safety. "  
"I ' ll put her back on the couch ; it ' ll be more comfortable than the mat. "  
"I wouldn ' t move her, she ' s pretty much on the verge of consciousness. You can tell if you just listen to her breathe. "  
"Right. Okay. " He turns and walks out, Leo walking over to kneel in front of me and stroke a piece of hair back from my face. My eyes open in a blink and I feel them squint up at him, but I can ' t really see him.  
"Mikey is worried about your well-being, so try to get better and eat more. Just a little more. "  
"Okay Leo. " I sit up and he holds out a hand to help me to my feet. His skin is cool, rather than warm, but I was expecting that. What surprised me is when I tripped getting up and fell into his chest, his body radiated heat. I pushed away from him as he instinctively put up his hands to catch my shoulders. "Oh … sorry. " I flush and walk away, wrapping my arms around myself and walking in to another room. I recognize it as Donatello ' s workspace and walk up to the little lab he ' d built for himself. I knock on the sliding door and after I hear a few footsteps, he opens the door. He ' s wearing a pair of goggles on his head and they suddenly fascinate me.  
"Something you needed?" His voice was soft and sweet, just like him from what I'd seen so far.  
"Can I watch you work for a while ?" He smiles sweetly,  
"If you want to, you can help me. "  
"Okay. "  
"I ' ve always wondered about a few things that had to do with humans, if I can get a few blood samples that ' d be great. " I frowned,  
"Blood … samples for what ?"  
"Experiments. " He was grinning and I shivered a little.  
"I ' m not sure … why. But that word makes me … uneasy. "  
"Experiments ?" I shuddered again and nodded.  
"Perhaps it ' s a memory that ' s trying to come through or something. We ' ll figure it out later. Come on !" He yanked me inside, so excited to get started and so enthusiastic about it.

I wake up today, feeling more alive than the day before. I yawn and walk into the kitchen to grab a stick of jerky to chomp on. I just needed to eat three of these a day and I was pretty much good to go. They tried to get me to eat more but boys needed to eat more than girls did. So I pretended to eat more and just left the rest to them. I jumped when a pair of arms wrapped around me and a sleepy voice drifted into my ear. " Wha ' s for breakfast ?" I found myself frozen as Mikey snored lightly on my shoulder and shivered when his breath hit my throat. I swallow hard. " Mikey, wake up. " Suddenly he ' s being yanked back and Raphael has a hold of his shell when I turn around.  
"Mikey ya idiot, wake up !" He smacked him upside the head and he snorted awake.  
"Wha !? What !?"  
"You were practically molestin ' her in your sleep ya moron. " I blushed hard at that and Mikey blinked sleepily,  
"What ?" It seemed he didn ' t quite comprehend what he was saying.  
"Ya- "  
"It ' s okay, Mikey didn ' t mean anything by it, I forgive him. " I walked past them as Mikey rubbed his eyes.  
"Forgive me for what ?" Then a thump, " Ow ! Raph !"  
"Wake up before ya come downstairs ya meathead. "  
"What did I do !?" I found myself standing in the tunnels, and had to let it out. I laughed.

Leo asked me if I was alright for about the third time today and I blinked as I refocused on his face. " Yes. I ' m just thinking. " Thinking about dangerous things. Like going up to the surface and asking around about myself. If anyone followed me home they ' d find these boys though … did I just call this place home ? I flop my head onto my arms and feel a hand on my head, stroking my hair. I knew it had to be Mikey, he was sitting next to me.  
"You ' re not going to sleep at the table are you ?" I chuffed a short, choked laugh.  
"No. I just… I want to know who I am… but I think it might be bad to remember loving my parents and then losing them. I don't even know if I had any siblings, that would hurt, wouldn't it?" There's a silence and I look up. They're all staring at their plates with guilty looks on their faces.  
"We could probably help you remember if you want." Donny. I turn to look at him, on the other side of Mikey. Mikey is looking really sad, like he knows something that will make him miserable.  
"That's just the thing. I don't know if I should remember or not."  
"Well … let us know. " He smiles a small bit but it falls from his face and I suddenly know what it is that ' s bothering them. They think I ' ll leave. I shouldn ' t have anywhere else to go so why are they so afraid ? Maybe because that ' s the only reason I ' m here. I look at Mikey and have a revelation. I like him. I really like how he smiles at me every day, I like the way he treats me. I just like him. So I lean over while he ' s still looking so depressed and wrap my arms around him.  
"Come on, Mike. Smile for me. " I pull back and he ' s grinning up at me and I smile back. " Don ' t worry about anything, it doesn ' t suit you. Besides … I like it … here. " That was a slight lie, but what could I say ? I ' d rather we live in a house ? How likely is that for them ? Plus I had no money to do that with. Mikey went back to being himself but everyone else kept throwing me looks … like they knew I was lying. But when I looked up and caught Raphael ' s eyes across from me, he looked like he might be a little okay with that lie. I ' ve noticed that he and Mikey fight a lot, but they ' re almost always together. Whether it ' s playing video games or Mikey watching a movie while Raphael hits the weights and punching bag they ' re just … together. I give him a small smile and he goes back to eating, ignoring me like he usually does.

Waking up to someone smacking my face was sort of uncomfortable but after I heard Mikey's panicked voice, "Wake up! Guys help!" And felt how weak I was, I was happy he'd done it. I groan and can't hear it. I try to lift my hand but it's just not strong enough. I whisper Mikey's name and he leans in close to try and hear me. The rest of them run in from their rooms.  
"What ' s wrong ?" Donny yawns and rubs his eyes.  
"She was lying on the floor and now she won ' t move !" They all ran to my side and soon I was being picked up by Leo and carried into the small room they used for patching each other up. I assumed that ' s where I was, I couldn ' t see it all that well with my eyes rolling in my head. I felt so tired ; all I wanted was to sleep. Mikey kept smacking my cheeks lightly every time my eyes would close. I really hated it right then but later I ' d thank him with everything I had, I know it. Leo sent Don into the kitchen and when he came back they spoon-fed me soup. I couldn ' t really taste it, so I couldn ' t tell you what kind.

I fell unconscious a few times but eventually I woke up and I was in Mikey's arms. I didn't remember being picked up and held so I jerked a little when I saw him. "Are you awake?" He looked like he hadn't slept in a while. He looked so tired. I look up at him and my eyes started to water.  
"Did I … I didn ' t …"  
"You almost died. " I was afraid he would say that. I feel myself break as I cried and clung to him, I didn ' t think of anything but how my eyes hurt after a while and how solid he felt. And how safe it felt to sit there on his lap and just lean on him. After a few minutes of my sobbing, Donny popped in and sounded relieved when he yelled outside,  
"She ' s awake !" They all walked in and when I looked up, I couldn ' t help but notice that they all looked as bad as Mikey, even Raphael who made a point of not getting close to me. I reached out to him and he reached back, our hands touching and his hand wrapping around mine. I leaned back into Mikey and sighed, I think I fell asleep right there, just like that, cause when I opened my eyes, I was back on the couch, covered up, and all of them were sleeping on makeshift beds all around me. Raphael was snoring so loud it made me giggle a little.

I started eating more, Mikey made sure I ate every meal as time went on he began to trust me to eat though… I felt so bad about eating their food that I had an idea. I went to Splinter who'd been meditating in his room. I knocked on his door and he opened it. "Yes?"  
"I know it ' s not necessary … but I want to get a job. Can I ?" He smiled at me,  
"Would you like to do what I do ? Or are you asking to go to the surface ?"  
"I don ' t think I ' m good with computers … the other day I almost broke Donny ' s. " He chuckles.  
"You don ' t need to do this, but I suppose it is something you feel you must do. " I nod and he smiles wider. " Perhaps you will need new clothes, yes ?"  
"I couldn ' t- "  
"Nonsense. Take the boys, they would love to help. " I blinked as he shoved a credit card into my hands. " I trust you to be responsible, and I trust them to know if you aren ' t. " I flush,  
"I…"  
"There is five hundred dollars on it, you may use up to one hundred. I know you must buy shampoo ' s and conditioners as well as other things, so keep that in mind. " He turned and closed his door. I blinked at it and looked down at the card in my hand. I put it in my pocket and walk over into the front room area. Mikey is sitting down in front of the TV … he said to take the boys … but I wanted to take only one if any at all. It couldn ' t be Mikey, he ' d get himself noticed. Leonardo ? No, he ' d be too busy. Same with Raphael and Donny … Donny. I run over to his little car room and knock on the door. He opens it up and I smile at him.  
"Donny, could you help me with something ?" He looked very ready to do whatever I wanted. I wonder at that, since he usually blows everyone else off if he ' s doing something. " Splinter said I could buy some new clothes and … well I need someone to go with me. " He grins,  
"I ' d love to. I ' ll just get my clothes for going up and be right with you. "  
"Before you do, is there a way to make a shower down here ?" He blinked,  
"We take baths in another room. But I could rig you a shower if you want. " I smile,  
"Thank you. " He smiles back and goes to get his clothes.

I'm staring at a bright red T-shirt with the words Badass Chick written across it. I immediately think of Raphael and snicker to myself. Donny asks, "What's so funny?"  
"Nothing, nothing … I just … It ' s red and it says badass. Doesn ' t that remind you of someone ?" He thought about that for a millisecond before laughing.  
"It is his color after all. " I grin and pick it up.  
"I like it. I wonder …" I looked from shirt to shirt until I found a blue one that said, Cool Chick. I laughed and picked it out. Donny chuckled and I ran to find an orange one. It seemed like maybe they didn ' t have one … then I found one at the very back. It said, Crazy Chick. I laughed like I was cackling. I ran again to find the purple section. They all said different things but I found the perfect one in the back. " Look Donny. " I held it up and smiled. His face turned a darker shade of green under his hoodie and I realized he was blushing.  
"Cute Chick ?"  
"You ' re totally cute. "  
"Right …" He scuffed the floor with his big shoes and I grabbed him, running for the jeans and picking out four pair.

When I get back with Donny in tow, Mikey is waiting for us. He runs over. " Why didn ' t you take ME shopping !?" He ' s practically crying and I jump back a little.  
"You gotta admit, Mike you tend to draw attention to yourself. " His mouth dropped open and Leonardo who was passing by, laughed.  
"We ' re ninja ! I could be quiet if you asked me to …" He drooped and I sighed, stepping forward to hug him around the waist.  
"I just wanted to get some stuff for my hair and some clothes, it was boring, wasn ' t it Don ?" He looked down and nodded. " Great, now I ' m gonna go and put these things away. Donny did you find me a place to sleep yet ?"  
"Yeah, this way. " Don was acting awfully quiet. I follow him into the other area, Mikey, done with his whining, sat down to play a game and decided not to follow us.  
"Don, are you okay ?" We were in a small empty room he ' d cleared of debris for me.  
"Was it really … boring ?" I blink, and then my mouth dropped open.  
"Oh Donny ! I didn ' t mean- I just meant that it would have been boring for Mikey, I swear ! I had fun, honest. " I walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He looks up at me,  
"You swear ?" I nod.  
"I swear. It was totally fun to be alone with you. " I hug him and feel his hands pat my back awkwardly. I smile up at him and he turns a darker shade of green again.  
"Um, well… here's where you can put your clothes. They're file cabinets, but they should work." I fold up my clothes as I put them away and turn to ask,  
"Could you show me where I could take a bath now ? I haven ' t in … well it feels like weeks. " He nodded and turned. I grabbed the bag, it had everything left in it. I stopped at Splinter ' s door and gave him back the card by slipping it under the door.

When Donny left, I stripped and threw the clothes into a corner while I dropped into the water and pulled some soap from the bag. I scrubbed myself so much I felt my skin become raw. Then I ducked under the water and came back up to put some shampoo on my head. It took about ten washes before my hair was clean of all the gunk stuck in it and the drain sucked it down. See the bath was a pipe that Donny had tapped into and it filled the place even as it went down the drain, so you always had clean water. Since it didn ' t cost anyone anything, we didn ' t have to worry about a big water bill for anyone. At least that ' s what Donny said. Anyway I put some conditioner on my head and ducked to rinse it out. When I came up and stood, flipping my hair back, I heard a very feminine squeak and turned to see a fleeing shape. Oops. I turned bright red and grabbed the towel in the bag. I put it back when I calm down and finish doing what I need. Namely shaving. I put on the towel, put everything back in the bag and walk for the room that was now mine. I jump inside and shut the curtain that is my door as I get dressed. I put on the bright purple number with blue jeans with rips in the knees. I was going to find out which one it was … they ' d turn bright r- green if I talked to them, they were just that unused to girls.

I walk out and when Mikey looks up to smile at me, I know it wasn't him. So I smile back and walk over to Donny's room. He's dripping something into a tube. When he's done I cough and clear my throat. He turns around and sees me in the shirt. He smiles and blushes, so that's a mixed signal… but I think Donny would have fainted rather than run away like that… plus his voice was too deep to sound like a girl squealing. The only two it could have been are Leo and… it couldn't have been Raphael, he didn't scream like a girl… so far as I knew, neither did any of the others. I walk out into the front room and Raphael decides to stop lifting weights, and walks quickly into his room. I feel a sense of dread… but I have to check Leo first. So I walk in and see Leo doing his Katas as faithfully as ever. He looks over and smiles at me and my heart drops into my stomach. Oh god no.

I walk back into the main room and sit down with Mikey. " Hey Mikey … ?"  
"Hm ?" He turns away from his game, pausing it to look at me. Which I find odd seeing as he usually carries on whole conversations with people while playing … which he later forgets ever happened.  
"Can I… ask you a question?"  
"Yeah sure. " He smiles and I feel silly for asking but …  
"Am I pretty ?" He blinks,  
"Of course you are !" He bursts out. " Did Raph say something ?" My heart cracks. So he did find me unattractive. Why did that bother me so much ?  
"No … it ' s just … well … Promise you won ' t say anything. " He nods and I feel an odd pitter in my mind, like its saying this is a mistake … but I had to tell somebody. " Do you remember when Raphael came running through here about … ten minutes ago ?" He blinked.  
"Come to think of it yeah. "  
"Do you remember, that I was in the bath ?"  
"Yeah …" He was thinking, really thinking.  
"Well…" I say it all in a rush, "He saw me naked and screamed and ran away, so I was wondering if I really look that bad." He blinked a few times, his poor little mind probably exploding. He jumped to his feet and stormed into Raphael's room. "Mikey!" I ran behind him and he jumped on Raph in his meditative state and they rolled around yelling a lot. I yell for Leo. "Leonardo! Please help!" He ran out to see me and seemed relieved, then walked over to see the boys fighting.  
"Raph always picks on-"  
"No ! Mikey attacked him !" He looked a little confused.  
"Why ?"  
"Um …" I blushed and he walked in to stop their fight. He pushed them apart but Michelangelo … started yelling at the top of his lungs.  
"You did it on purpose!" I cover my eyes and start shaking as I turn red from head to foot.  
"I swear I didn't!"  
"And then you totally made her feel bad !"  
"What the hell are you talking about !?"  
"She says you screamed !"  
"So what !?" Mike throws a punch and Leo catches it. Funny enough, Raph seems to be the meek one in this case and is standing back.  
"So how do you think that made her feel !?" I run away then. I run for the sewer tunnels and keep running until I can ' t hear his voice anymore. There was a silence after he said that anyway, I just kept hearing it over and over again. 'So What !? ' It echoed until I stopped to cry in a storm drain and curled up on my side next to a small family of rats. There was a mother and several babies. She hissed at me a while then seemed satisfied that I didn ' t want to hurt her young, so she settled back down in her little nest and cleaned them with her little tongue and paws. They were small enough that they needed her still, but big enough that I bet they didn ' t drink much milk anymore.

Watching her… made me feel… better. I liked the way she touched them so softly and kissed their fur so gently. I sighed and closed my eyes, only to open them when I heard someone run by the little hole I was in. I crawl out to see Mikey running down the sewer pipe and he started yelling my name. "Mike?" He skidded to a stop and turned to look at me. Then he ran back towards me and scooped me up, hugging me and talking very rapidly.  
"I ' m sorry. " He said it over and over again until he was practically crying and I wrapped my arms around him, getting them out from under his arms.  
"Mikey… Mikey… it's okay… really, stop squishing me." He let go and rubbed his eyes with his big hands and I pull it down to kiss it. "I was just embarrassed… I won't run like that again, okay?" He nodded and smiled a wavering smile. I heard frenzied squealing and turned to see the little babies looking for their mother. She'd run away, probably when I'd crawled over her to get out. I sigh and turn to pick them up. I put them all in my shirt.  
"Do you guys mind if I have a few pets ?" He shook his head and I walked home with him.

They were all sitting in the front area and Donny was patting Raphael on the shell as he stared at the floor. I blushed and stopped walking when I saw him. Leo walked over and looked in my shirt. " Rats ?"  
"Their mother abandoned them and they ' re old enough so … I thought it would be nice to have a pet rat. Or two. " True, there were two babies in my shirt, but I planned to give one to someone else.  
"Raph has something he wants to say." I blush as Leo pulls me towards him and I stop right in front of him. He clears his throat and Raph darts a look up and flinches when he sees me. I feel really bad now… I must have been hideous. Especially since he's a giant turtle and shouldn't really care how I look. That got me a little fired up so I lifted my gaze and squared my shoulders.  
"Well ?" I look down my nose at him a little. He glances and flinches again. " What ' s the matter ? The horrifying image too much for you to look at me anymore ?" He looked up at me now, his mouth dropping open.  
"I- " He seemed to be choking. Then he got defensive, " So maybe it is !"  
"Oh like you ' re one to talk !" He went still.  
"Oh yeah ?"  
"Yeah, you ' ve got to be- " Donny slapped a hand over my mouth gently.  
"Please … we don ' t need to hear what you think of how we look. " His face was so … broken. I pull of his hand.  
"Donny I wasn ' t going to- "  
"Well you know what ? What made you think you were a prize in the first place ?" Mikey stepped forward and Leo held him back.  
"I didn't think I was a prize! But I'm skinny and have nice hair, so I figured I wasn't all that horrible to look at!"  
"Have you seen your ribs sticking out of your skin ? It ' s sickening !" I gasped and stepped back, almost dropping my babies. I feel my eyes prick.  
"Well I ' d think someone like you- "  
" Wouldn ' t be picky ?" Leo asks. He looks just as bad as Donny.  
"Leo I didn't mean-"  
"It ' s okay. " Mikey was smiling sadly, " We kind of expected this. "  
"But Mikey I don ' t mean you- "  
"Sure you do. It ' s just … I thought you ' d get over that … see our insides. I thought we were … I thought we deserved love. " I put the baby Rats on the couch and jump on Mikey, putting my arms around his neck and hiding my face in his throat.  
"You do, Mikey !"  
"But you don ' t love us, do you ?" I pull back to look at him.  
"It's only been a week Mikey. You have to give me time. I wouldn't fall for a boy my age this easily either." He looks hopeful, but also like he's waiting for me to stomp on his heart, and it breaks mine.  
"So you won ' t leave ?"  
"I won ' t. " I pull his head down onto my shoulder and stroke his head with my fingertips. " I didn ' t mean I don ' t like you, you know. I was just trying to hurt him, it ' s okay really. "  
He sniffled and my heart fractured a little more. " Don ' t cry Mikey. I like you a lot, really I do. "  
"Why ?"  
"Because... you're... I don't really know. I mean, I just met you. But I can't just look at you and not... I mean I look at you... and all I can see is how much I really like your smile. " He looks up and hope is ever present in his eyes.  
"You mean it ?"  
"I'll protect your smile forever, I promise. " Then I kiss his cheek and wrap my arms around him, lying my head on his chest. His arms wrap around me.  
"I'm supposed to be the one to say that, aren't I ?" I laugh and he laughs with me, they all join in. Even Raphael. Though I haven't quite forgiven him yet. I eye him as he stands there, smiling softly at Michelangelo's expression of happiness. I decide I like this Raphael.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Donny?"  
"Yes ?"  
"Have you seen Winter ?"  
"She went to work Mikey. "  
"Aww... I wanted to play. "  
"She's not a toy Mikey. "  
" I know that !" I walk away from Donny's workspace and step quickly back to the front room. I'm too late. I groan as Leo turns on the TV and starts watching one of his favorite shows. I see Raph walking into his room, rubbing the back of his neck with a towel she bought for us. A question suddenly comes to mind and I'm so jealous that he knows the answer before me that I can't stand it. I walk over to his doorway, he hasn't really picked on me since that day... the day I attacked HIM for a change.  
"Whaddya want, Mikey ?" I sigh.  
"I want to ask you something. Don't get mad at me. "  
He pauses, glancing at me warily. " What ?"  
"What did she look like ?" He lifts an eyebrow.  
"Who ?"  
"Winter. " He stilled.  
" I don't want to talk about it, Mikey. "  
"But I want to know. It should've been me who saw her ; I'm the only one who likes her in this room. "  
"God Mikey, do ya think I wanted to see her ?" He swallows, sits on his hammock and sighs. " I didn't mean for it to happen. Can't you stop punishing me for it ?"  
I blink. " You think I'm punishing you ?" I smile, " I just wanted to know. You wouldn't have screamed if you hadn't been really embarrassed. I know you were. But come on, we're teenage boys. And brothers. We share. " I hop up next to him and butt his shoulder with mine. " Was she as pretty as I think she was ?" Raph sighs, lowering his head into his hands.  
"Fine. I'll tell you. " He gritted his teeth. " It was torture Mikey. Not the moment she popped out of the water and I saw her, a few seconds later when I started running away. I kept seeing her in my mind, her perfectly curved legs and her hair sticking to her body... god, and her breasts, barely there but definitely there. And I can't touch any of it. I never will. And god... I want to. " I watch as my brother dissolves into tears and curls into a ball on his hammock. I stand up so he can turn over away from me and stretch out a little more.  
"You don't know that it'll never happen for us. "  
"Wake up, Mikey. " He turns over and sits up, staring hard into my eyes. " She'll never feel that way about us. Even if she loves us in the end, she'll never want us. " I felt it crash over me. The truth. It was the truth. She would never love us in that way. I couldn't expect her to. But I was fine with that. As long as she loved me, I was happy with whatever she could give me. But it would hurt for the rest of my life that I couldn't have her the way other men could. What if she met someone on the surface ? That thought that had never occured to me, broke my heart. Raph was staring at me as I worked this out.  
"She can love someone else that way, can't she?" I sit on the floor suddenly and he snorts,  
"Now you've got your head on straight. "  
"I just thought... maybe she could see us for who we are, and... not look at us like everyone else... Even April loves us... but... She would never love us like that either. "

Winter P.O.V.

I stood outside Raphael's doorway and I heard Michelangelo start to cry. " I just wanted someone to love us like we... like I thought we deserved... " I hear a hoarse laugh, a bitter laugh.  
" We deserve nothing better than what we got, that's why we got it. If we deserved better we'd have it. That's how the universe works. " I realize then that Raphael really did like me. He looked at me and saw something desirable. And he saw me. He didn't see the only girl he could possibly have because he didn't think he could have me. He just saw me, and he thought I was beautiful. And that is what made me walk into Donny's workshop and ask him for a favor.  
"You want me to talk Leo into keeping Raph at home tonight ? Why ?"  
"I have something to talk about with him... with all of you really, but I want to do it individually. " He looked suddenly wary and afraid.  
"If you're leaving- "  
"I'm not going anywhere Donny !" I get down on my knees and look up at him with wide eyes. " It's important. I promise it won't make any of you sad. Mikey might be upset that he wasn't first but trust me. " I smile. " He'll still be happy. "  
"Well... alright, if you want. I'll try to talk to Leo. Why didn't you just ask him ?"  
"I thought you were better at talking to him than I was... Which is pretty bad considering I'm supposed to be his wife too. " I grin up at him and he smiles back.  
"I'll do what I can."

"Whaddya mean, stay here tonight !?" I was sitting in my room reading when I heard the outburst. I sighed and put in my bookmark, walking into the main room where they all gathered.  
"Just for tonight, Raph. I just want to do it the three of us tonight. You can wait one night, can't you?"  
"Why ? Just give me a reason. " I put my hand on his shoulder.  
"I asked for you to stay behind so we could talk about something." He blinked.  
"Is that why Master Splinter left earlier too ?" Mikey asked.  
"Yes. I want to talk to all of you, but I wanted to start with Raphael."  
"Why didn't you just ask me to talk earlier ?"  
"I wanted us to be alone. " I look away from him. "I'll be alone with the others too. "  
"Fine. " He stalked over to the weights and started lifting. I actually liked watching him work out. It's been a week since that incident and ever since then I've started watching them all train and work out.  
"Good luck!" Donny pats my shoulder and I grin at him as they leave.

I walk over to lean on the thing holding up the punching bag and watch him as he lifts weights, slowly and surely working his way over to the bench where he lifts from his chest up and down. I admire the way his muscles move under his skin. I sigh to myself and walk over to sit beside the bench. His eyes flick to me and back to the ceiling as he pushes up and pulls down. I reach up and touch his arm, he seems to jerk and it drops a few inches. " Whaddya doin '?" I leave my hand on his arm.  
"I just wanted to touch you, is that okay ?" He shrugs,  
"Do what ya want, I guess. " I smile and stroke his arm under my fingertips.  
"You're the strongest of your brothers aren't you? What makes you work out so hard?" He's trembling as he lifts the weights now, and he sets them down and sighs.  
"Do ya have to do that ?"  
"You said to do what I want. Oh I forgot something. " He huffed and closed his eyes. I lean over him and my hair brushes his chest, or as Donny called it, his plastron. I dip down and his eyes fly open as I touch his lips with mine.

He flies backward, bumping hard into the ground as he falls off the end of the bench. I squeak and put my hand over my lips as I watch him wriggle and wiggle on the ground in pain as he holds his head. "OW! What the fuck was that about!?" I giggle because, of course I've heard him curse before but never the f-word and never directed at me.  
"Do I need a reason?" He sits up and rubs his head, glaring at me.  
"Why all of a sudden are ya doin' this?"  
"I like you, isn't that enough ?" He stopped moving at all to look at me. He looked over my whole body, apparently looking for a lie in my body language. So I just walked around to him and sat, plopping down on his lap. His arms flew up as if he were in a hold-up. I giggled and leaned into his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. " What's the matter ?"  
"Oh god. " He was still in the hold-up position.  
"Raph?" He fell over backwards and I fell with him. I squeaked on the way down and he blinked up at me as I pushed myself up and looked down at him. "What was that supposed to do?"  
"Get you off me. " I grin.  
"Okay." I stand up and walk over to the couch, sitting down. He stared after me with wide eyes. "What? You didn't want me to touch you, right? After all, I guess I'm just not pretty enough." He looked guilty as he sat up.  
"That ' s not- "  
"Or maybe it ' s that I ' m not curvy enough. " He hunched his shoulders. " Or maybe you just don ' t like human girls. Well whatever it is I ' m sure I ' ll get over it. I mean after all I ' m sure the others won ' t care that I ' m a skinny human girl with an ugly mug. "  
" I NEVER said you were ugly. " He seemed to burst with that one, standing and gritting his teeth, his fingers curled tightly into a fist. Then he seemed to think about it. " You were planning on being like this with all of us ?"  
"Of course. I like all of you. There ' s no rule against it, is there ?" He sighs.  
"I'm pretty sure it's illegal to be married to four people but shell, I guess it doesn't matter down here."  
"I guess not. Does it bother you that it ' s not just you ? " He looks off to the side.  
"A little. I don ' t mean the loving them part … it ' s the sharing part I ' m having trouble thinking about. How would that even work ?"  
"Well for one thing I want to be able to kiss you all goodbye when you go out patrolling. "  
"Why couldn ' t you just do that ? You kiss Mikey all the time. "  
"I had a feeling you ' d think it was lame if it was just a kiss on the cheek. I even figured you ' d fight me off. " He hunches his shoulders and drops them. " You know I ' m right, right ?" He sighs.  
"Wait." He looks up. "What exactly are you telling me right now? What, you want to kiss and hold hands and shit?" I look away from him and feel my face burn.  
"That… and other things." He walks closer.

He leans over the back of the couch, next to my head and I resolutely stare straight at the TV. "What 'other things'?" I shiver. His face is just too close. I feel the vibrations from his voice. I love the way he talks. Truthfully I loved all their voices but his accent just made me crazy.  
"R-"  
"Winter !" Master Splinter comes running in as we straighten and turn to the door. " You must turn on the tracking device for Michelangelo !" I blink and realize he must be in danger, so I leap to my feet and run for the computer in Donny ' s lab. I turn it on and remember the process Donny taught me for making the computer do things. Type in the command and press enter. The map popped up and Raphael and Splinter saw over my shoulder where his little orange blip was.  
"I ' ll go get him, Master. " He turns and walks out of the room and I sigh.  
"This is my fault isn ' t it ?" Splinter puts a hand on my shoulder.  
"Simply because you wanted a moment alone to talk to someone privately ? I think not. "  
"It was selfish. I could have just taken them aside at some point … but someone might ' ve walked in …" I groan and cover my face.  
"Do not worry. Raphael will help them find Michelangelo. They will be fine. "

In fact he was right … except for the part where Mikey broke his leg. They walked in carrying him and I ran over to the couch where they sat him down and started kissing him all over his face. " Are you okay ?" I ' m anxious and he grins like he ' s the luckiest guy in the world. All smiles and laughs.  
"Whoa, so much love for just one turtle !" I laughed and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, lying my head in the crook of his neck. He pats my back. " I ' m fine. Just broke one of my legs. " I pull back and reach down to touch the one that seems to be swollen. " Ow. " I smile apologetically as I stroke the skin. It was swelled alright, and I could feel the bone sticking close to the surface of his skin. I leaned down and kissed the tip of the bone under his skin and stood up.  
"I ' ll get the splint kit. " Donny smiles, and thanks me, sitting on the coffee table so he can eyeball Mikey ' s leg. Raph grabs my arm as I walk by.  
"Get some painkillers too, the good ones. He was nearly in tears when we found him. " I felt my face soften and get all twisted up in worry.  
"Raph !"  
"What ? No pain pills ? You must be pretty tough. " Mikey glared at Raphael. I just patted his shoulder and kept walking, trotting, then running. I felt my heart pounding. I don ' t know why I ' m so afraid … I just know that they don ' t really have full medical facilities and people in the old days without doctors used to die from broken anything. Even just a finger !

I walk in with the kit, the wood they use and the painkillers. I set them down next to Donny and he picks up the wood, wrapping cloth around Mikey ' s leg and looking up at his brothers. They all reached down to hold down Mikey ' s leg. I squeezed between them and held onto his hand. He grinned at me as Donny snapped his leg back together and for a moment it was like he felt nothing … then came the scream of pain and my heart ripped in half. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he panted in pain and squeezed him to me. I kissed the top of his head and he whimpered when they tightened the bindings. I watched as Donny finished up and hoped that was it. I pick up the bottle of painkillers. " Donny, how many does he take ?" He picked up the bottle and studied it.  
"This one, he can have four every six hours. " I dropped four into my hand and gave them to Mikey. He took them and I ran to get him a drink. When I came back, he gulped them down and leaned back on the couch, seemingly spent.  
"I guess Mikey won't be going out anytime soon." Leo pats Mikey's shoulder as he speaks. "Don't worry about it though, Winter'll take good care of you, won't you Winter?" I nod.  
"Of course. What ' s a wife for, after all ?" They all laughed, and Mikey smiled. I could tell he was sleepy though so I helped him lie down and covered him with a thin blanket. He fell asleep not long afterwards. I was planning on Mikey being next anyway but this put a hitch in my plans for the others. Well … I could just ask them to go into another room with me, I guess. He can ' t really move. Either way … tomorrow night was Mikey ' s turn. Poor guy ' d probably have a conniption that he couldn ' t sweep me off my feet … you know literally.

I fell asleep that night, and woke up two hours later. I felt antsy; I kept having nightmares about one of them getting themselves killed. The recurring theme was that it was all my fault. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw them covered in blood, torn to pieces, burnt to a crisp… and decapitated. I wanted to go find them all and put my hands all over their bodies, just to assure myself that they were alive and it was all a dream. I couldn't do that to all of them, but there was one I could… I got up and snuck out to the couch, kissing Mikey's forehead and smiling when he snorted in his sleep. I walked over to Donny's science lab and walked in to find him slumped over his keyboard. So I walk over and shake him awake. "Wha…?"  
"Donny, time for bed. " I helped him up and walked him all the way to his room. He flopped onto his mattress and was snoring before he even hit it, I swear. It was a light snore, nowhere near Raphael ' s loud snuffling. I walk next door to Leonardo ' s room, he ' s sitting up in bed, his legs crossed and his breathing slow and even. I knew he already knew I was in the room. He ' d remember I came in, and he ' d wake up if I surprised him enough. I walked over to touch his face and kiss him lightly on the cheek. " I wish you ' d sleep like a normal person, you know so you could have sweet dreams. " He smiled in his trance and I smiled back, even though his eyes were closed and he couldn ' t see me.

I walked around for a while, getting up the courage to do what I needed to do. I was satisfied that the rest of them were okay… but now I was so anxious to see Raphael that I was shaking while I paced. Eventually I just hauled myself up the incline and stepped into his room. He snorted in his sleep and snored on, as if he hadn't even noticed me. I knew better. If I got closer, he'd wake up. Leo wakes with surprise and danger… Raph wakes with proximity. I guess since Leo's better at sensing intent than Raphael.

I walk over next to him and he rubs a hand over his face. " Winter ?" I really loved the way he says my name … sounds like, 'Wintah ' .  
"This is going to sound really odd." He groans.  
"What ?"  
"Can I just … lay on top of you for a while ?"  
"Why ?" He moans.  
"I… had a nightmare… I just… need to know you're not dead. I know that doesn't make sense-" He reached out and grabbed me by my shoulders, hauling me up and on top of him.  
"We sleep in a big pile when we have those nightmares. Usually Mikey just wakes us all up for it in the middle of the night. I gotta say this is an improvement. " I giggled, my fingers drawing circles on his arms that wrap around me.  
"I'd love to be able to wake you all up and sleep on the same bed, but… well I'm not that childish. I went and saw that they were all okay, so now I guess you'll get the full brunt of my anxiety."  
"Which means ?" I smile in the darkness of the room, leaning up so I was an inch away from his lips.  
"A lot of frantic touching. "  
"Well I ' d be lyin ' if I said that didn ' t sound like fun. "  
"Can I ?"  
"You think I ' m gonna stop ya ?" I huff.  
"Who knows with you?" I lean down and very lightly brush my lips against the corner of his mouth.  
"God, now you're gonna tease me."  
"Maybe. "  
"Hmmm … maybe if I do this- " He moves a hand lower on my back, dangerously close to my backside.  
"Okay ! I give !" It inched back up my waist and his hands smoothed over my sides, lightly caressing the skin exposed at my hip. " Now who ' s teasing ?" I could feel him smirking.  
"You're gonna have to bear with me, I ain't never done this before." I felt my heart ache at that small vulnerable sentence.  
"Well we'll just have to practice a little." I kiss him then, our lips melting together and his legs shifting in surprise.

It was a while before we went to sleep. I drifted my fingertips over his face and neck, his arms and his plastron… he smoothed his hands over my back and sides, his legs wrapping around mine. I kissed the crack in the side of his plastron and then the skin just above it, moving up a little at a time. "That's enough." He pulled away from me and turned us so we were lying next to each other. I blink.  
"What ' s wrong ?"  
"Nothing … it ' s just … more than I ' m used to …" He cleared his throat, and I felt his hips twitch a little as he tried to disentangle himself from me. I curled my leg over his hip and wrapped my arm around his neck.  
"Don ' t pull away so much, it feels like you ' re closing off. "  
"I ain ' t …" He sighs. " I just don ' t want to start something that we won ' t finish …" I blink into the darkness.  
"How do you know ?"  
"Know what ?" He sounded wary.  
"That we won't finish?" He sighed long sufferingly.  
"I…" He scoffed. "Geez." I suddenly realized what was wrong.  
"You're self-conscious."  
"Fff. " He huffs and turns over so his shell is to me.  
"Raphael, it ' s okay … I ' m not all that confident myself. "  
"Coulda fooled me. " I smiled at his back.  
"The only reason I'm so calm, is because I like you. A lot. I don't care if I'm good or bad because the first time doesn't really have to be good. It's just something you have to get past… to get to the other times. It's something… that makes you see the other person for who they are." I put my hand on his shell, dead center. I can feel him trembling. "I really think I could love you Raphael." His shivering got worse and I realized he was crying. He probably wouldn't admit to it, and he was probably trying really hard to hide it from me. He wasn't making a sound after all. "Raphael, I'm going to sleep now, I just wanted you to know that. Good night."

I woke up with his face in my neck and a sound ringing in my ears. Someone was yelling my name, running around. I sleepily sat up with Raphael jumping out of bed. I followed him out to see Donatello running around like a chicken with his head cut off. " Donny ?" I rubbed my eyes as he stopped and whipped around to look up.  
"Oh thank god." Mikey peeked up from the couch and I could see tears in his eyes.  
"Mikey ? What ' s the matter sweetie ?" I ran down the ramp and over to the couch, sitting in front of it and wiping away his tears. Donny explained.  
"We woke up and you weren't in your room… so we thought…" I blink in surprise. They thought I'd left them. Without saying goodbye, in the dead of night… Or day since they stayed up at night to patrol.  
"Mikey, I was just sleeping with Raphael, that's all." Raph made a noise, like he thought I shouldn't have said that. Donny and Mikey's eyes were wide. I realize what that sounded like and flush bright red. "No no! Not like that! I just had a nightmare and had to sleep with somebody." Mikey still looked mystified and Donny sighed in relief.  
"Why didn't you sleep with me!?" Mikey pouted. I smile and pat the top of his head.  
"I promise I will tonight, is that okay?" He beamed and suddenly my heart was warm and tingling with a feeling akin to worship. As long as he'd keep smiling at me, I'd do anything for this guy.


End file.
